Moronacity

My rides and races are usually quite uneventful. Aside from a few loose skewers, I haven’t had any issues for a while. I haven’t even had a flat since last summer.

I decided to ride my bike to the Michigan Tech Trails, today. I planned to be gone for four hours and decided it was best to prepare for the worst. I had my usual little bag packed with:
* Multi-tool
* Spare tube
* Two CO₂ cartridges
* Two tire levers

I also packed the following:
* Hammer Perpetuem
* Packet of Heed
* Flask of Hammer Gel
* Phone
* Camera
* Eye drops for contacts
* Lunch – peanut better and jelly sandwich, salted carrots, and two chocolate chip cookies
* Dozen chocolate chip cookies for The Bike Shop

It all began with a generally long descent into Hancock on the ORV/Rails-to-Trail path from my home in the north. I enjoyed pedaling down the path at about 16 mph. It was fun and a great warm up. I rode through downtown Hancock and crossed the bridge making way for The Bike Shop. I stopped in to deliver a dozen chocolate chip cookies to Steve and Caleb. I occasionally bake cookies for them to show my appreciation.

I headed to the Michigan Tech campus via the bike path and rounded my way up to the Student Development Complex to hop onto the Outer Loop just across the street. I was in Heaven. It has been so long since I rode the Tech Trails that I had almost forgotten what it was really like to ride there. The poem in my previous post was written with the Tech Trails in mind.

I rode the baby smooth singletrack of Outer Loop and moved onto the Inner Loop to complete the fun, fast trails on the hill. While climbing back to the trailhead, I suddenly felt something in my eye. I wear contacts, so eye debris usually causes the baby blues to scream. Fortunately, I had eyes drops! I popped out the contact and irrigated. All was well.

After completing Inner Loop, it was time to move onto the Time Trial Loop which leads to Hairy Toad and Barking Frog. Hairy Toad proved to be a challenge. I found myself uncertain with the skinny bridges as things just didn’t feel right. Some of the technical sections proved awkward and I didn’t even try to make it through a second time. My bike slid around turns and then I finally realized that I had a slow leak in my rear tire. Oh, boy! I finally get to use my CO₂ cartridges! Well, that’s the positive way of looking at it. The problem was when I couldn’t get them to work, at least in a way that was beneficial to me.

I decided to pack up my stuff and walk the bike several blocks down the hill to The Bike Shop to get some air. Just as I was about to get on with it, John, my team mate, showed up. He tried getting the CO₂ to work and failed as well. Then, three more guys showed up. One of them lent me his hand pump, allowing me to finish out my ride.

I finished up Toad and Frog and moved onto the Dragon Loop. This is where the most peculiar thing occurred. I was a little ways past the Dragon Bridge heading for the V-ditch when, on a turn, I noticed this:

Oh, yes. It is strange, indeed! A decapitated and scalped Barbie! I really don’t know what to say about that except that was the only thing I got a picture of, today. No, I do not know where Barbie’s face went.

I continued back down Outer Loop to exit onto the road the same way I came. I backtracked to downtown Houghton and took a rest on the waterfront to eat the snacks I packed. The peanut butter and jelly sandwich was smushed and wet, so I threw it out. I hate one-and-a-half cookies, but that really wasn’t the answer, so I tossed the last half. The salty carrots, however, were the perfect food. I had been riding around three hours and a healthy, salty snack was just what my body wanted.

I hopped back on the bike and backtracked through Hancock and up the rail-to-trail to my road and home, again. I was tired. My body was ready to quit. I was gone for four hours and five minutes. With my bike shop stop, flat tire, and park snack, I logged three hours and forty minutes of ride time over 30.39 miles. That is a lot on a mountain bike, and boy, do I feel it!