The bike shop is that glorious place where crazy and addictive cyclists gather together to…well, hang out and talk bikes. Really, if we all bought a bike or a bicycle product every time we went into the bike shop, we wouldn’t even have a roof over our heads. A bike shop is much more than a place to purchase bicycle products.

Conveniently enough, the bike shop where I attend my therapy sessions is called The Bike Shop. It is inside the confines of this bike shop where I have shared in great sociological studies.

First of all, people think that I own every bike they see me walk into the bike shop with. After testing a Jamis Dakar XC bike, I brought it back into the shop and saw a guy who I had been seeing there quite a bit. He looked at me with surprise and exclaimed, “How many bikes to you have!?” to which I replied, “Only three.” I failed to elaborate that I did not own the bike in hand, nor did I further explain that I was just about to place an order for the more expensive Dakar XC Expert. I also failed to explain to anyone, including myself, that I did not have the money for the Expert, but I managed to pull it off, anyway. This situation is simply a classic example that, while at the bike shop, people feel like they can do anything. It’s kind of like a 5-year-old considering running for the Presidency, someday.

The second observation I have made at the bike shop is that men love beer and cookies. In fact, providing beer and cookies is a great act of diplomacy with the local bike shop and will most likely ensure excellent service in the future. I have even paid for bike parts and repairs in the currency of beer and cookies.

The bike shop is a great place to learn about great deals on other products found outside of the bike shops, even in other states and on other continents. Take this gem found on Craig’s List (edited for length: follow the link to read the whole ad):

Do you need a year round way to water your lawn, deck, yard, garage? Have you ever wondered what a 425 gallon colander looks like? Ever really wanted a motorized dog bath? Today is your lucky day. I have a free hot tub. Yes it is complete and it is drained. I drained part of it and it drained itself the rest of the way. Where does it leak??? Find that and you have found the leprechaun with the pot of gold. This unit is perfect for the individual who knows no limit to frustration. The type of person who likes a challenge even when there is no chance of winning. This will build the kind of character in you the armed forces dream of. You will find yourself exhibiting behavior that you never thought possible, but IT’S FREE!!!! You will need strong backs to load and a trailer. I will be able to offer short bouts of sympathy and witty banter while you prepare to begin your journey.

Coleman 411 – 5 Person tub
Has Cover
Pumps, heater, etc did work
Air injector pump has been disconnected
The rest is a foam filled crap shoot

As you can see, the bike shop is more than just a place to acquire your favorite products. It is a magical portal into the magical world of uncontrolled self-indulgence, beer, cookies, and a little taste of insanity.

I have to go, now. The bike shop is calling me.