I know how I work. I’ve got myself figured out. Even though I’ve achieved this, I find it kind of odd how often I forget. Yesterday is a great example.

It was a beautiful, quiet day in Houghton. I decided to head over to the Michigan Tech Trails to start my skate ski at the Nara Park trailhead. I knew I was capable of skiing these loops because I did it last week. It has been a week. Uh, oh.

I followed last week’s route heading up and down the you’ve got to be kidding me hills. That thought was still with me. The difference is that the snow was crusty, a little rutted from previous skiers, and really fast. Hmmm. I was not feeling confident, but I skated on. I headed up Skidder and Hemlock (original MTU trails) and turned around at the top to enjoy the ski down. The problem was that I still wasn’t feeling confident.

Once I got back to the Nara trails, I started climbing back to the Ridge Loop. It was here that I took another breather (while skiing advanced loops, I find that I must dedicate time to breathing, especially after lots of climbing). As I sucked in some fresh air, I looked at the map of the new trails. I could either skip Tanglewood, which was another 1.3 k of intermediate craziness that I hadn’t yet been acquainted with, or head up to the next unfamiliar loop, which was shorter and the last of the intermediate series. After giving myself permission to skip Tanglewood, I decided to skate it.

This kind of behavior is quite typical of me. While biking or skiing, I often give myself permission not to do something either because I’m worn out, or I just don’t have the motivation. I’m not just blowing smoke up my patootie, but giving myself real, honest-to-goodness permission not to do something. There is no guilt for not doing it. Then, the tough girl side of me decides to do it anyway. Who cares that it’s going to be hell, right?

Tough Di headed down the first Tanglewood Loop hill. The snow was more powder-like and the hills gentle. It was definitely an intermediate loop, but it was so different from the madness of its neighboring loops. Suddenly, I found myself taking the hills and turns with less care. I was feeling good. It was then that I realized that I had been skiing for 50 minutes. No wonder! I have proven to myself, time after time, that I require a 45-50 minute warm-up before I start to feel really good and the pain subsides. I finished the Tanglewood Loop in this incredible state of mind. I could feel no pain.

Next time, I’ll have to pay more attention to how I work, and allow myself that 50-minute window before I hit the harder stuff. Scary hills are so much better when you’re filled with endorphins and fear is nothing but an afterthought.