Moronacity Cycling Journal » Advocacy
Zack’s Not-So-Good Friday
By Diane UrsuOn Wednesday, April 8, the proverbial shit hit the fan when Michigan State University International Relations and Journalism major Zack Colman wrote a rather controversial opinion article for the State News. I’m pretty sure that Zack had no clue what he was setting himself up for.
Zack delivered lines such as
Black 2001 Saturn SC2. That’s the car I drive — and if you’re a bicyclist on the road but not in a bike path and you see my car, I hope you’re wearing a helmet, because I might run you over.
But you see, with all these things I can do in my car nowadays, such as choose a different song on my iPod, send a text message while driving or fall asleep at the wheel because I had to wake up for a worthless 8 a.m. biology lab, I might not notice you.
For example, I was driving to work Tuesday when a bicyclist pulled up in front of my car in the right lane on Farm Lane going northbound where it intersects with Shaw Lane. There is no bike path at this portion of the road, and I needed to be in the right lane to avoid the left turn only lane, but the bicyclist was in the way.
and…
And maybe you are [Lance] Armstrong, so talented and in shape and able to pedal so, so fast. But Armstrong’s average speed in the 2001 Tour de France was 24.9 mph, which is 0.1 mph less than most of the speed limits on and around campus.
Zack’s article was the fodder for well over 400 opposing responses on The State News’ web page for Zack’s article, Bicyclists need to stay on sidewalk.
Of course, I had to say my piece not once, but twice:
“But you see, with all these things I can do in my car nowadays, such as choose a different song on my iPod, send a text message while driving or fall asleep at the wheel because I had to wake up for a worthless 8 a.m. biology lab, I might not notice you.”
I think the real issue, here, is that you are not responsible enough for the privilege of being a licensed driver.
State law regarding bicyclists is, essentially, same roads, same rules. [I feel really bad. I forgot "same rights."] In some cities, it is illegal for a cyclist to be on the sidewalk.
As far as Lance Armstrong’s average speed of 24.9 mph, that is an average of all of his riding, including mountainous ascents. In and of itself, especially on a FLAT campus like Michigan State, 24.9 mph is no major feat.
Michigan State should be embarrassed to have you, a representative of the university, writing a column that contains evidence of your lack of responsibility and regard for others, your ignorance of state law that is printed in Michigan’s “What Every Driver Should Know” manual, and your inability to use reason with facts, such as Lance’s average speed in the mountains versus the amateur rider’s speed on your flat campus.
Is this really what higher education has come to?
An MSU Employee made the following, excellent point:
Has the columnist considered that in addition to students, many MSU faculty and staff commute by bicycle? Has he considered the possibility that the bicyclists for whom he has so little patience include many professors, administrators, and other employees?
Not that the value of one person’s health and safety are greater than that of another, but from a practical point of view, it would seem unwise for the columnist to publicly pronounce his disregard for the personal safety of a group that includes MSU academic and administrative professionals.
Some people went as far as to email the newspaper’s editor and the president of the university. Many people received the following form letter from the editor. The points I find quite interesting are in bold:
Hello, Whomever You Are:
Thank you for writing in. I understand your concerns. It’s very clear to me from the tremendous amount of reader feedback we have received today that Zack’s column was misconstrued by many. It was meant to be a satirical piece raising to light the issues of safety and inconvenience that bicyclists may or may not cause in using the road and/or bike lanes in our community. In no way was direct threat of violence ever intended. Many of us at The State News also bike around campus, and we would not wish harm on them or any other member of our campus community.
Due to the multitude of letters we have received today in response to this opinion piece, I cannot guarantee that your letter will be published. However, please don’t take that as a sign that your comments have gone unacknowledged. I hear your concerns and appreciate you taking the time to write in.
Our goal is to have the Opinion Page serve as a forum for collective [sp]commuity[/sp] discussion about various issues — including opposing viewpoints on would-be controversial or contentious topics — so your response to Zack Colman’s latest column only further enhances this mission. Thank you again for writing in and voicing your thoughts.
Respectfully,
~ Kristen
Note that I took the liberty of highlighting the editor’s spelling mistake in the last paragraph. 
The editor’s form letter caused me to reply on the web site (this is the aforementioned second time):
Per the State News Editor in Chief: “Zack’s column was misconstrued by many. It was meant to be a satirical piece.
Our goal is to have the Opinion Page serve as a forum for collective community discussion about various issues — including opposing viewpoints on would-be controversial or contentious topics.”
An opinion column serving as a “forum for collective community discussion about various issues” is an inappropriate place to use “satire” such as this. In this case, it seems less like a concern for the issues and more of an attempt at shock value.
As I implied earlier, Zack wrote up an opinion article with no fact checking in mind. There was no consideration for the user group in question, and he failed to realize that humor must be very well-written in order to be understood well.
Unfortunately, I am embarrassed for MSU, and I feel that the university needs to rethink its core curriculum in favor of producing students who are reasonable and inquisitive and who are able to question their own beliefs and consider others’ positions so they truly can become free-thinkers, rather than lemmings.
As I stated earlier, this piece was completely inappropriate for a column serving as a “forum for collective community discussion about various issues.” The editor is partly at fault for misplacing it.
Shit is raining down from fans in other places in response to Zack’s column. Advertising junior, Nicole Genaw, concurred with Zack’s piece in For safety purposes, bike riders should stay off roads. Charles G. Hoogstraten, assistant professor of biochemistry, said it nicely when he wrote, “Opinion writers who presume to tell me as a bicyclist where I ‘belong’ without even bothering to check the applicable laws are perhaps the greatest hazards of all.” See Bicyclists have same rights on road as vehicles in Mich., for the rest of his comments.
Since this is an Internet controversy, this story is spreading across the web like wildfire. Not only are MSU students and local area residents responding, but people from as far as San Francisco, New York, and North Carolina are finding their way to the comment section via web sites such as Bike Snob NYC. Bike Snob’s BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz! is even about Zack!
Even in the midst of either (pick one) Zack’s ignorance regarding cyclists, or his inability to clearly convey humor in a satirical/sarcastic/whatever piece, I do wish people would quit personally attacking him. As I stated, earlier, there are over 400 comments in opposition to Zack’s column, and many of those are personal attacks. That’s a lot for a kid to handle, and he is a kid. I hope that people start to cut him some slack. I also hope that Zack learns from this experience. If he sorts through the hate comments, he’ll find some great advice and information. This could be just the learning experience he needs to become the person he wants to be, if that person is a good journalist. 
One thing is for sure, there are some Wolverines who are getting a good cackle out of this.
ahh… interesting Di. Thanks for the heads up… I’ll be watching for his car.
It didn’t sound like satire to me, but rather pure arrogance!
Yeah.. if it was satire, it was poorly written to say the least. I’m actually curious if he meant it, and then the editor is trying to cover that @#$#-up by stating it was intended as satire.
I couldn’t resist having some fun with it…
http://bikelemming.blogspot.com/2009/04/zack-colman-needs-to-stay-in-slow-lane.html
Thank you for pointing out that Zack Colman’s disregard for laws and safety DOES NOT warrent personal attackes against him as there are proper channels to address the concerns. I have requested criminal charges against him for death threats against the bike community (first amendment protection does not apply to specific threats)
Lou Anna K. Simon
Michigan State University, President
Crime Reporting Unit
Michigan State University Police
1) Overview of Concerns:
I am reporting a written and publicly distributed death threat against
numerous members of Michigan State University (MSU) students, staff and general public. I request MSU staff and the Michigan State University Police to address this death threat in a timely and professional manner to ensure the physical safety of those threatened. Secondary concerns with the article’s encouragement of criminal behavior need to be addressed; but only after the physical safety
is ensured of the bike community.
2) Primary Concern: Death Threat.
Zack Colman, staff writer for The State News, made specific death threats against the bike community in his recent article, “Bicyclists Need to Stay on Sidewalk” (
http://statenews.com/index.php/article/2009/04/bicyclists_need_to_stay_on_sidewalk ). In the article, Mr. Colman describes an specific target, specific weapon, specific method of assault and cites specific motivations for his assault; therefore, his statements exceed the First Amendment protections on speech and meet the threshold for criminal death threats. Mr. Colman specially states he is willing to run over members of the bike community with his motor vehicle as
an act of road rage. A reasonable person would have cause to fear for his or her personal safety based on Mr. Colman’s threat.
Due to extreme nature of Mr. Colman’s threats; immediate and comprehensive response is required by the MSU police to address this issue. However, I must advise the members of the MSU Bike patrol to use extreme caution when dealing with Mr. Coleman as Mr. Coleman did NOT exclude police officers on bike patrols from his list of potential targets in the bike community.
I am requesting that Mr. Colman motor vehicle privileges be immediately revoked and not reinstated until after he is examined and assessed by licensed and qualified mental health professionals to assess the risk posed to by Mr. Colman to the public. A special focus on mental stability, anger management, and road rage tendencies should be included in the assessment. Appropriate corrective actions are requested to be implemented by MSU staff and police, to include
criminal charges against Mr. Coleman.
3) Secondary Concerns: Intimidation to Encourage Criminal Behavior.
Mr. Colman states in his article that bikes need to stay off the road and bike on the sidewalk. Mr. Coleman describes his personal frustration at the speed that cyclists ride on campus roads as the justification for bikes to stay off the road way. However, the various Michigan Vehicle Codes and Michigan State University Obedience’s that apply to bicyclists specifically grant the use of the roadway to cyclists, require cyclists to travel reasonable safe speeds and to NOT bike on the sidewalk. Therefore in addition to the death threat previously describe, Mr. Colman is also utilizing his position at The State News to intimidate the bike community as a means to encourage the bike community to violate State and University bike use regulations. It is unacceptable for Mr. Colman to attempt to force law abiding members of the bike
community into committing violations of law. For reference purposes, the specific State and University regulations and laws are cited below:
Michigan Vehicle Code 257.657 specifically grants the same rights to bicyclesto the roadway as any other vehicle (except for special reasonable exceptions).
Michigan Vehicle Code 257.660 (1) requires low-speed vehicles (to includebikes) to “shall ride as near to the right side of the roadway as practicable,exercising due care..”; such a requirement includes using the full lane if deemed required and practical for the circumstances
Michigan State University Obedience 33.09 states that “No person shall operate a bicycle at a speed faster than what is reasonable and proper with regard to the safety of the operator and others.”
Michigan State University Obedience 33.13 states that “No operator of a bicycle shall cause the same to be driven upon or across any sidewalk…”
Michigan State University Obedience 33.14 Every person operating a bicycle on a roadway on the campus shall be granted all of the rights and shall be subject to all of the duties applicable to the driver of a motor vehicle.
4) Conclusion:
Death threats of any nature are unacceptable in any modern environment and are not protected forms of speech. The increasing number of national incidences of homicidal violence on academic campus coupled with the very real danger posed by road rage dictate that Mr. Coleman’s threats must be taken at face value. The university is ethically and legally obligated to properly responsed to the threats and take any and all appropriate corrective actions. A RESPONSE is
requested to this email.
Di, thanks for the level head response to this article. I have been watching this unfold from NY and fear for this child’s life. I have looked at his website and read other stuff by and about him. He does need a good dose of reality.Seriously though, I feel that a long stint at some place like an inner city soup kitchen is the only thing that will wake this child up. I too am concerned that some will act out on their threats of violence, and that will help no one!
I have notified local officials of my concern and have been ignored. The staff of the paper, the university and city seem to be turning a blind eye to a potentially dangerous situation. I wonder where this child gets his role models from?
it certainly was written poorly. i think people attacked zack personally because he seemed to be personally threatening cyclists with his car. it’s unfortunate that he is getting the spanking that he is, but maybe he will learn to be more careful about what he writes, and how he writes, in the future.
Thanks for putting attention on this subject!
I completely disagree with the form letter. It is dismissive and condescending. Nobody I know found this article “satirical”. Whoever “Kristen” is apparently agrees with the content of the article as she describes the “inconvenience” bicycles create. I agree that people should be a little more constructive in their criticism, but that was a pretty inflammatory article. If he catches a lot of grief over it, then I think it will be a good learning experience due to his irresponsible reporting.
I know Zack quite personally. He actually is this ignorant and self-absorbed, both as a writer and a person.
It wasn’t satire–I’ve heard way too many drivers saying exactly what Zack said for it to be satire. And no, I won’t cut him some slack. He’s using his column to incite violence against cyclists. I love satire, but as a cyclist who’s had a few motorists intentionally do some dangerous stuff, I see nothing funny or satirical about Zack Colman’s column.
Write the Michigan Secretary of State (the Michigan equivalent of DMV in other states), and ask her to revoke Zack Colman’s driver’s license:
http://www.michigan.gov/sos/0,1607,7-127-13162-25634–,00.html
He shouldn’t be driving if:
1) He doesn’t know Michigan traffic law;
2) He habitually drives while distracted
3) He has expressed a desire to assault other people with his vehicle.
GREAT post and comments… I’m late to the controversy and to Zack’s little diatribe in the State News. There is absolutely nothing clever I could say or write that hasn’t already been said. I’m just really glad to see the cycling community, locally and from far away, respond with such commitment and concern. The problem and the danger to cyclists is real… maybe we should thank said child journalist for bringing the subject to light in such a public, albeit, misguided manner.