“For the first time, I was able to do a race and actually enjoy it.” That was the end of yesterday’s blog post, and it probably left some of you scratching your heads.

“What do you mean, ‘actually enjoy it?’ Its mountain biking. You should always enjoy it!”

Sure, if you enjoy racing, then that’s great. I have mixed feelings about it, though.

I enjoy seeing mountain biking friends and fellow advocacy freaks at the races.

I am quite competitive. I love to gauge my progress, and racing is not only a motivator to continue improving, but a great method of gauging progress with some accountability. Not only that, but it is also fun to get together with a couple hundred people and do what we all like to do: mountain bike.

What I don’t like about racing is the compelling need to go as fast as I possibly can. The reason is that it hurts. Now, I do like pain. This is obvious because I mountain bike, but I push myself to a different level when I race. I’ve finished several races after bonking. I’ve had coughing fits and a raw throat because I pushed so hard that my lungs felt like they wanted to die. I don’t necessarily enjoy the routes that are chosen for some races.

I love the “chilling out” period that follows the race.

What is the reason I race, then? Why do I race? Because I can. I truly believe that. When it comes to competition, I seem to like to push myself about as hard as I can. I push to my limit. Maybe it makes me feel like I am truly alive. Maybe it is because I appreciate being able to do this crazy stuff while my body is young and healthy. I know for a fact that part of it is because I enjoy hanging out with mountain bikers.