First of all, I have to thank Mike Woods for posting his relationship status on Facebook. I remembered seeing it so long ago, and I thought, “Hey, I could screw with my friends with an awesome Facebook status that says, ‘Diane is in a relationship with Jake the Snake.’”

Well, apparently, Jake would have to be on Facebook in order for that to work. He personally does not care for that geeky, desperate social networking thing, so he won’t be having a Facebook page anytime soon.

Anyway, I went ahead and edited my Facebook relationship status to “in a relationship” and even carefully typed in “Jake the Snake.” What I got was this:

Talk about a backfire. In spite of how Facebook failed me, yet again, three of my friends were savvy to my crap:

In the end, Jake and I decided it simply was not going to work. We called it off – something about “bike rights” and Jake not being able to visit me if I ever went into the hospital.